Friday, February 11, 2005

The Albert Speer Theory of Boyfriends

I've been looking at men recently with an eye towards what I would call "The Albert Speer Theory of Boyfriends." (ASTB, for short) The art-history people have probably already figured out what I am talking about, but for every one else, a brief digression. Albert Speer (and, yes, I know, it is a Wikipedia entry) was the house architect for the Third Reich. He came up with the concept of the "Ruin Value" of architecture: buildings should be designed in such a way as to leave monumental ruins. The Greeks and Romans had this down pat, viz. the Parthenon and the Pantheon.

The ASTB basically says that when selecting boyfriends, one should look at what they look like today, but also take into account what they will look like 20 years later. Will the boyfriend (by then, more likely husband) still quicken your pulse?

Not that I have any good candidates here. But just something I've been thinking about recently.

Morally Bankrupt Business Plans, Part III (a)

There is a further elaboration to Calendar Spam. It's a subtle thing, but probably one worth pursuing. In Outlook, accepting a meeting notice generates a response to the sender of the meeting notice. Legally, that's probably good enough to be a contract -- there is verification that you accepted the terms of the e-mail. Which means that I have a second revenue stream; one that is probably even more profitable than people going to high-pressure time-share sales pitches.

How do I monetize this? Very easily. Buried in the fine print of the original sales solicitation is a bit of fine print that says that if you accept, but cancel less than one week before the event, you are liable for a $150 late cancellation penalty. When we send a reminder 6 days before the event, people call to cancel. And we hit them with $150 charge. If you complain enough, I may waive the charge. But only after I take you to small-claims court. In a different locale than where you live.

I never said I sleep well.